Soul Crushing Devotion?

Raw, compassion, real, are all words that describe genuine love. Love has been something so far out of reach it resembles the distance between you and the stars in the sky. Two souls that merge and completely trust each other. Every flaw, every quirk, every insecurity reassured and delt with because of sheer devotion to each other that is shared. A horror movie is how I would describe it. Always sweet bliss in the beginning and ending with a gut wrenching horrific ending; whether that be physical torture or mental torture. The protagonist is always trying to survive the ending without losing themselves in the sanity the antagonist has caused. The antagonist is always clever with how utterly sick and twisted their torture is. In the real world the protagonist is you and everyone you will ever meet. People fail to realize how easy it is to affect a person. Fail to realize that even though it is your life that it is also the same for someone else. I think I have struggled so much with being able to fit myself in a character chart. It almost feels unreal with how much I cannot find anything relatable to how I feel. It is so hard for me to think I could have ever been or am currently a good person when I have been in a constant cycle of good things happening that eventually always come to an end. It is exactly like reading a new book and letting your imagination run wild, you get attached to the characters, look up all of the work put into the book, create one sided bonds with characters, relate to characters just for it to end and feel like you waisted your time indulging in something that you knew was going to end.